• 8:11 PM, Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Mixed emotions. Do you really meant what you said? Are you really going to try to make everything better. Haven't I always did my best to love you? Just upon knowing you'r sick, i'm worried. Yet every calls i made to you, you will just end it with "i'm busy". Do you know how worried I was? Are you taking everything for granted again. Are you really that busy? Even after your exams. I wish you can see, I need to see more actions, than your words. And that, those that you've done, i've already seen. I'm selfish, i'm asking for more, i'm sorry. But I just wish to hear your voice, see your smile, being embrace by you, thats all . I really hope, I don't have to leave at all. PLEASE.

• 12:28 AM, Monday, November 17, 2008

When, will you feel helpless, walking everywhere aimlessly, with cold feets. Everyone of us starts with our feets for our first step towards independent. And, my first step walking away from fear by myself, starts from you, my boy. You, are also the only one who is able to make that a failure. I wish i will never have to leave you at all.

Waiting for updates ? :D

photos will be uploaded when i'm free, lazy now ;p

Friday, pon school with Joanna,Lence & Gerard, we head down to bugis together. I bet all of us were sian, cos we're walking aimlessly ): And it rained a lil. After a while, Lence's Gf came and joined us. We decided to rest at JCO for ice cream before we head seperate ways. Took 960 home. And sleep ! :D

Sat and Sunday work work work. I'm almost exploding while working yesterday. Shall not elabortate. Did not meet JoannaY and Liling for drinking session. But we are definitely going soon ! Today, work was better. But tiring still ;\ Reached home, don't know what to do, waiting for his message too, as he didn't reply me for 2 days. Was happy and worried at the same time. He message me automatically, apologise many times for not replying, as he fall sick during his chalet. Sighs, I'm really worried, can't do anything when he's sick though. Just hope to see him soon ): Loves. Get well soon, PLEASE !

• 9:45 PM, Friday, November 14, 2008

I want you to be there when I fall. I want you to see me through it all. I want you to be the one.
Will we be able to walk hand in hand together through each other's life forever?

Love is just an excuse to sacrifice without any reasons. Love is something no one can explain or get hold of it. Neither do I understand what love actually is. But one thing i know, it does wonders. Love brings more than a couple in this world together. Love also brings them apart.

I will never know whether love is trying to bring me and him back together. Or I was meant to be punished this way, to slowly fall in deeper, suffer at the end. I always have faith towards him, don't even mention the unlimited boundaries of love I've showered him. Two thing I've always lose after being with him, my stubborn and lousy attitude. I will never know, whether I gain or lose more until i reach the end. But I've a feeling, he will always be the most important person in my life. He might have hurt me, but time heals, he healed it himself too. He might seem to play me on the surface, but most of the time, he gave me his words to keep me secure. He might seems to make use of the fact he knows me too well to hurt me, but in fact, he's using it to make me become stronger instead of weaker. I am always afraid things might not be what it seems, even how much I seem to be confident over his serious-ness. I might seemed I really trust him, but deep inside, a part of me will still surrender to fear. But these fears, are always taken away from you, especially this time. You took almost all the fears I had in my heart and made it almost perfect. You told me, you wanted to make me happier, and to make me feel i'm a better person. After one night of reflecting. You are truly the only one who made such big changes to me in my life. You made me turned into a more positive person. I used to get emotional very easy, as I tend to think the negative sides. After all this,I learnt to stay positive. I blamed myself for being too weak to be able to give you all the love no one has ever recieved from me, not even my family. I start to not expecting you to treat me the way I wanted, or expect you to treat me the way you should be. I learnt to find this as a better path for us, a better start once again for us, a better learning journey for myself. I might never know you do cherish me in your heart too, just in a different way from others. I learnt to believe you'r the one and unique person I can't compare with others or allow others to compare you with. I don't need you to treat me the way you should, because its not something you have to. I learnt that when we'r together, i'm more unhappy. I always expect too much in you in the past. I thought a good boyfriend have to be this, that, this and that. When you don't do this and that, I will feel upset. Thats a sign of taking it for granted. Yes, a boyfriend should care for you, rekon your status to his other loved ones. But I believe you'r unique, thats why you aren't the same as them. I do want to be rekon too, however, what do I gain in the end, its nothing. You ain't happy equals to me tearing apart. A good boyfriend also have to be a great person first. Someone who made a better and great difference for you. And not just a guy who simply messages you sweet messages, brings you out for lunch, dinner, or even sent you home. It all depends on how he's made a difference. Surprisingly, we've never quarrelled ever since we broke up, and for around the past 7 months or more, we've not quarrelled or fall out. We still maintain the good relationship. Whereas, we quarrel after a month being together in the past, and eventually broke up for 3 times.

• 9:05 PM, Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Do you feel the way I feel. I only need you by my side, "D" (:

Hello ! I'm here to update ! (: I've a project to rush, and a lab practice to complete by next two weeks. Today, i came across this report from stomp about ACJC. It totally SUCKS ! This is the link if you'r interested.
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?commentPageNo=1&id=41849

Finally, I didn't miss loves' message yesterday night. Sms till 2am and he went to sleep. Many things run through my mind. I know he will keep his words. At the same time, everything start to make sense. This is the first time, i don't wish to really patch with him anymore. Its because, we tend to quarrel when we patch. As there are many things we have to compromise, give in, and do to be a good boyfriend or girlfriend to each other. He doesn't like having to do these at all, i understand. I find the routine tired too. At the same time, i won't get upset and disappointed over him too. He doesn't reply me, I will kpkb, because thats what a bf should do. He doesn't give his time to me, I kpkb also, because he is my bf he should meet me and not friends all the time. All these expectations, might be necessary to all of you. However, it serves as a reminder to me that, I should not expect too much. At least now, he still does do some surprising things to make me happy once in a while. Thats enough for me. Will you be happy when good things come to you as surprise, or when it comes to you as the way you wanted? For me, I prefer having the surprise way now. I will be unahppy if things don't turn out the way i wanted, what for? He said, he is happier now, me too. My dearest lovely boy, DYHS (:

• 9:28 PM, Friday, November 07, 2008

What makes me the happiest girl in the world, is you. What makes me the dumbest girl on earth, is you. Because of you, i started to learn how to wave goodbye to love. Yet, because of you, i will never be able to have the courage to bid goodbyes with you. Even if you'r the one breaking me into pieces everytime, at the same time, its you who keeps me as one. Without you, i won't be hurt, upset, emotional, crying, heartbroken, but without you, it is equal to an incomplete me. Will you treat me better?

I don't feel like working tomorrow ): Can't use laptop as my two boss will be one level down doing fair. They will definitely come up and spot check. How am I gonna kill time like that ! ? !
Anyways, i'm really disappointed/irritated/unhappy with him already. Please stop living in the world of your own, will you? Whats with the complaining to people, about me complaining about someone over a particular thing. Do you like it, if I ever speak loudly to one group of peope we'r with, over some certain things you don't wish to be said from my mouth?

• 11:11 PM, Thursday, November 06, 2008

Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life, starts with goodbye.

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY , to me DEAREST BRO, IAN NEO MENG YONG ! (:

A lil note just for you : Bro, sorry for the things i said yesterday or any other day that might have let you feel that I don't understand you at all. Thanks for always staying by me when i'm troubled, confused, upset, unhappy, disappointed, heartbroken. Regardless what moments it is, you'r always around me. Thank You , just so much.

I remember, just last year, how happy our clique still was. Everything gone case ever since year2. I guess its impossible to have that kind of friendship, in such a big group, like how we used to anymore.
--------------------------------------------------------

Its never been easy. Is this some kind of reminder or what god wants to show me by making me see the bigger picture slowly. To realise that, after so long, you "might" be taking me for granted "still". I really miss the days being with you. Memories refused to leave together with you, i can only keep it, and miss everything. Even if we are give another chance, will everything be better? Do I have to see you treating me not like your girlfriend once again? Even if you'r to treat me the way i wanted/wished for, will my life really become better? Why am i so upset all of a sudden? Am I thinking too much. I don't know, i hate turning myself into his state. Am I that difficult to stay in love with? All i get from you is excuses, over and over again. In your heart, i'm the person who will listen to every words of yours regardless whether its lies or truth. Thats me, yes, but i really hope, everything is worth it, worth while, and that you will stop taking me for granted, now. I can't let go, even untill now. When will you realise, i'm the only person who is going to be able to love you this much. Will you only realise, when theres no turning back. Whats within you, that I can't bare to leave you so much? Whats within me, that makes you leave over and over again & coming back over and over again?

• 7:47 PM, Saturday, November 01, 2008

Everytime I close my eyes, it reminds me of how it feels like being by your side. Walking down the streets, it reminds me of how we used to hold hands strolling close to each other. I know my love for you, doesn't have anything in value to you, but I will always see it as the most valuable thing in my life. I wish, you know i will be the one out of all, to love you this much.

I'm terribly sorry for the lack of update. Its been a month plus, i know. SORRY dear friends. I want to apologise to those who tried to tag me too, i did not know I locked my tagboard by accident. Luckily joannaY told me (: Alright heres my update.

Does anyone miss me? ( LOL! )

Or my cute Jazz ? :D I took many many photos of him, and I don't want to admire his cuteness myself, so I post it for all of you =D

( Cute Right ?! )

NOT FORGETTING my "full-time" bad boy.

( Really look like bad boy right? )

Oct9, Thursday

I took an off-day to go sentosa with Margaret (: I'm contented with the "bit" of tan-ness I have now. If not everytime I apply my foundation, can see my foundation darker than my skin tone. I got sun-burnt just by tanning for less than an hour half. Because the sun was directly above us. After bathing, Andrew came to find us. We went to have our late lunch/dinner at White Dog Cafe at VivoCity, its delicious, and the price is reasonable. Aftermath, margaret have to meet up with her friend for a while at vivo. So andrew and I just walk around the whole vivo until she's done. Then the three of us went to catch "Big Stan". Its funny, but some of the jokes I don't understand at all, because my english is POOR ! ( Such a shame! )

( Does anyone feel hungry after seeing this? LOL! )

Alright, still got more below.

Oct 24, Friday

Gerard cheah decided to treat me & joanna to breeks cafe for our dinner upon getting his pay. He is really nice ok, guess how much is the bill? ($100) Thats the day when I really started to eat a lot a lot ! OH MY ! Anyway, all of you should dine at breeks cafe if you have not eaten there. I enjoy myself, I want to take this opportunity to thank GERARD ! (I know i sound very formal) :D

Oct 28, Tuesday

( Food again?! ) Yes yes, we went to Aston's at The Cathay to have a late celebration for Joanna during dinner time. I enjoyed myself too. Jokes of the day, i must say joanna is really very innocent. LOL, but she isn't now. One of the reasons I say she's innocent is because, we trick her using the magic candles, yet she thought its because the candle is "POWERFUL". Another joke, you can go to gerard's blog to know about the "BJ joke" if you'r interested. It was my first time dining at Aston's, its recommendable too. Reasonable price, big portion, delicious (: I just don't like the amount of time we have to queue because its dinner time. After dinner, we went to Ben's & Jerry. It is also my first time dining there. 3 words ( I LOVE IT! ). Most importantly Joanna enjoys her day ! :D Especially upon seeing the Guess wallet all of us ( Me, Gerard, Gabriel, Ian, Xiaowei, Yilong & Khalifa ) get for her.

Oct 29, Thursday

Met margaret after school at lot1 to watch "High School Musical 3", seriously I regret watching. I don't suit watching musical kind of shows. Most of the time watching the movie i spent on listening to them singing. So yeah.

Oct 30, Friday
Yesterday, after class, went to AMK hub with Gerard,Yilong & Lence to catch "The Coffin".
Its the first time I did not close my ears throughout the show. LOL! The show isn't that bad. Its quite a meaningful show though. Telling you how one is that desperate upon death issues. And some of the decisions we make that are selfish, will never turn out good.

I will be busy the next week too, doubt I will be updating. If theres anything just text me. I miss all my dear friends ! Good night! Miss me alright ! :D

Suhui, saw your big big photos? When meet up ): I realise we have not met up for more than a year. Faster contact me la . Got boyfriend don't want me ):

JoannaYee! Happy to see your pictures here? LOL !

Not forgetting my great friends, who brought me laughter all the time in school. LOVES.

• 10:57 PM, Thursday, October 30, 2008

Will update either tomorrow or Saturday (promise!) if i didn't go out (:

• 9:11 PM, Friday, September 19, 2008

Alright, i'm sorry for the lack of updates. I shall make it short though. Because i fall sick AGAIN, this time its not fever but flu. Still have work tomorrow.

■ I've recieved my results on Tuesday morning. And yes, i'm really shocked, that I passed. I really want to do well and study hard. No more procrastinating.

■ After all the resting and staying at home for around 5 days due to my fever, i finally went back to work on Tuesday, at raffles outlet. Worked there until yesterday,and today is my off-day.

■ Yesterday, andrew came to find me after my work, and he treated me for dinner at lau pa sat together with one of his friend. That explains why i'm kinda sick now too. Because i'm having a slight sore throat as well. Margaret and her friend came to join us aftermath. I hope margaret can be as cheerful as ever. It really hurts to see her upset. Went to Harry's after our dinner. And cab home.

■ Today, woke up and realise i'm sick, but it did not stop me from going out again. Went to meet margaret at my house LRT, and to jurong to meet andrew. Finally, an item off my wanted list. Yes, i've bought my Burberry Brit Sheer, and i'm so lucky, they'r having this moving out sales at the same time. We cab down to cityhall for our meal at Thai Express after that. It's my first time dining there, yet i've got "extra" ingredient in my order. Its nice afterall. Went to walk around before we head home while margaret make her way to work. Accompanied andrew to pet shop and visited Hugo too ;D Reached home, and something really makes me unhappy now, thats my husky. Why does my husky have to prove me wrong whenever i start to feel that he's worth it afterall. I shall end here, i have to get plenty of rest.

• 5:11 PM, Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm seriously sick now, having a high fever and severe throat infection. Won't be online often anymore . Take care friends.

• 1:38 PM, Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I've learnt to expect lesser and lesser things in my life as I get older. Nature, is still the best. Let nature take its course. Ignorance is bliss. Expectations are just allowing disappointments to corrupt our minds with negative thinkings.

28 august ; Thursday

Back to working, however this time its Expo. Have to wake up much earlier, and taking a long time to reach home. It sucks, I know, but working is FUN, you get money, and you ain't really "working". My boss isn't there, only Sandy is there supervising. My bosses are over at Suntec City. And I realise, time passes faster working at Expo ( I don't know why too ). Before I knock off, decided to join Mark & Andrew to wait for Margaret to knock off which is at midnight. I made that choice because I don't want to have such a boring schedule when i'm already having my holidays. If I don't enjoy a bit more, its like totally no difference from school days. Its the first time I meet Mark & Andrew though. Seriously, my impression of Andrew will never change. I'm really pissed and unhappy over his way of doing and assuming things. Only margaret knows what is happening. Was slacking at Harry's at Demsi Road while waiting for Margaret to knock off. Its already 12.45 when we left the place. Last minute decided to have prata at upp thomson Road. One word, DELICIOUS ;D Got scolded when I reached home ( Obviously, because its already 2.30am when i reached home ) Bathed and slept immediately.

31st aug ; Sunday

After work, something bad happened, or should I consider myself lucky? Only phylis and margaret knows what happened. SHHH* After work, my eldest brother fetch me at clementi stop, and we head down to meet my parents and sister for satays ;D loves loves .

Monday, met up Phylis as promised, to watch 4bia. Its a nice show i must say. Although i'm covering either my eyes or ears during the whole show. The show is such a success that it made me freak out without fail. But I love it ? :D so hurry , and watch it. The part I love most is "In the Middle", fucking comedy.

Before we go down to The Cathay to catch the movie, we had Subway as our lunch. My FAVOURITE :D and finally, i've decided to get Burberry Brit Sheer instead of other fragrance.

Yesterday, woke up early to meet margaret for breakfast. She treat me mac breakfast how sweet. I love her company ;D We gossip and talk a lot ! :D damn happy, finally have time to catch up. After talking to her, I really hate andrew now. The next time he acts close with me, he's gonna be in deep shit. After that, went bugis with Yunhan. She's the best la. Finally i bought something ;D Went to find Liling too. And something unpleasant happened, stupid Angmo, curse you curse you !

• 3:56 PM, Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Within this happiness, it takes a lot of courage and tears shed to maintain how we are now.

Overdue Pictures ;

Monday / 25august.

*Please take note, there are many photos in this post.

This date, marks the end of my year 2 sem1's exam. And the day I turned 18. Lets talk about how I feel about my exam. I'm happy that its over, but i'm really upset over myself. For not putting 100% into this time round's exam. I don't think this sem i'm gonna be as lucky as the past two semester, heng heng pass. This time round, its gonna be hard. Hope I learnt my lesson, and start to buck up next semester. After the paper. I met up with my bunch of schoolmates, head down to Marina Square. Met with the rest, Gerard, Eugene & steven at Yuki Yaki. Had a nice lunch. Had my fun, had my stomach filled, and happy over the great friends i have. After which, all of us went to catch the movie "Meet Dave". Joanna and I regretted choosing this show. We intended to watch "4bia", but the earliest slot is 4pm, which means we have 1hour+ to kill. After movie, most of the people left, except for Joanna,Tuanhok & Yilong. I cancelled the night program, as I expected many of them are already tired. I feel so sorry for gabriel, for changing my mind for more than 2 times before I decided to not go for shi-sha & drinking. I had my fun, thanks everybody who came. (Yuman,Wenting,Xiaoyuan,Biheng,Hequn,William,Yongxiah,Riovee

Jingxuan,Gerard,Yilong,Tuanhok,Eugene,Steven,Joanna)

Hope my birthday wishes come true.

Much credits to Joanna,Jingxuan,Gerard,Yilong,Eugene. Thanks Joanna for giving me the idea to dine at Yuki Yaki, and the care & concern you've never fail to show me ever since the day we knew. Thanks Jingxuan for making the efforts to attend my birthday celebration, and also the care you've never fail to show me as a big sister too, sorry for not being able to help you when you'r upset, but i'm always here for you. Thanks Gerard for being the photographer of the day, always so crazy and funny at all times, i just know I've to thank you lots. Thanks Yilong for always being there as a big brother, although I get pissed off easily, i'm sorry, I take things serious easily, Cheerup ok, for whatever you'r pondering and upset over, just remember you have dajie,lucky,me,joanna,khalifa,xiaowei. Thanks Eugene for the cake, and "make up" as well, and always being there for me, take care of me as a big brother.

Another group that has made me super happy, is my flute section ! They are the ones i did not contact the most. Yet almost all of them wished me. (Xinying,Ruyu,Pohying,Haiqing & CHIUXIANG) I love you guys (:

Enjoy the pictures.

CREDITS TO GERARD CHEAH !

As expected, they help me make up.

My list to get ;

Burberry perfume
Dior perfume
Burberry bag
Gonna work hard during this holiday and save up to get all these !

• 10:34 AM, Sunday, August 24, 2008

Sorry for the lack of updates. Many thoughts start to run through my head like the past. But I have to force myself to not hope for anything from him anymore. All I want now is not to question myself over every actions he does. Its about questioning myself how I feel. Yes, this time i really feel disappointed. But, forget it, i have to face the fact i've lose faith and hope in him. Maybe my feelings for him are meant to go away in such way, or remain in such way. Who knows? I just want to enjoy my life. Have been studying out with Joanna,Yilong and Gerard lately. Whether its in school or in the public. Heading down to suntec later on for our last revision. I totally don't feel any more excitement about being older every year on that special date. But looking forward to hang out with my bunch of lovely friends tomorrow all night out (:

Thanks Phylis for your sweet thoughts. Thanks Margaret for that "comin" expensive treat. And not forgetting my lovely clique ? Especially Joanna, Xiaowei, Eugene, Gerard and Yilong. You guys are so loved !

People who knows me long will know I never go for money, or even fancy branded. Ever since I went down to Galleria with Gerard and Yilong on Friday. I really going crazy over branded. BUT, only for burberry and chanel. ;D Went to burberry shop and saw one bag i love it a lot. And fuckin cost 900bucks. Nova Check Tote. Lol. Perfumes from chanel, burberry and dior will be my first aims first. At least still affordable. 70-150 bucks range. ;D *Laughs* Not as if i have enough money to buy that. I have to work this whole holiday, to return my debts to "you know who". Till this point of time, i'm still regretting, spending that sum without giving second thoughts. No no, second thoughts is not enough... Sighs . . .

*Joanna ;

Be who you are and do what you want. Feel what you feel and not make yourself feel what you don't want to feel. All of us is going to support you alright. We want to see Joanna's smiles as often as before. He just couldn't see that how much precious time he's lost, and that you'r still trying to help him get the best out of it after breakup. His life only have one decision now, no one can change it, until he starts to understand life has more than one decisions. Loves.

• 12:21 AM, Saturday, August 16, 2008

You'r always making me smile inside out when i'm with you. Your love gets me that way (: Even if its been years of ups and downs, but it seems, its just the beginning for the both of us .

Have been muggin' muggin' for school upcoming exams. However, to my disappointment, even with the 3weeks off-day from work, didn't help myself. Due to my own laziness and no motivation. It totally sucks knowing that your exam is just 2days later yet you know nothing. Sighs, I should just bang the wall ! Lol.

Wasn't having a pleasant week ahead. "Bullied" by my Husky. Both of my hands is full of blue blacks. Can't fix a place yet for my birthday celebration. I don't want my 18th birthday to screw up ! ): Having my aunty visiting me at the wrong time, causing me to get even sleepy easier while muggin' for exams. Sighs, alright, i shall make sure I study tomorrow and Sunday.

Yesterday, wasn't having a great day thou' cos of some reasons. But everything's ok and great now (: Met up with loves a while after his tuition. Happy to see him :D Wonder whether he does too? mmmmm. .. He's still the best ;D He's always having ways to make me smile. Crazy loves. Hope he's gonna have a smooth journey towards his o's. And no more ~~caning~~ for him :X Be a good boy ;D Loves loves ^^

Goodnights ^^ !!!

• 7:27 PM, Sunday, August 10, 2008

Nothing can stop me from being who I am right now (: I just want to lead a happy life, without having to worry and ponder over many things all alone. I no longer want to be the one suffering.

Friday, went cck to meet with joannayee before we headed to Chinatown for her photoshoot. Get well soon alright ? (: And stop saying you'r fat, you are not fat at all ! (: Meetup real soon again ! After her photoshoot, we went seperate ways. I went to meet Xiaowei, Yilong & Gerard. Gerard cheah is a lousy liar. Lol ! We had our fun definitely ! Xiaowei & I had our nails done at far east. Gerard and Yilong were fooling around all the way. With stupid concepts :P After that, went to walk around far east. Eventually I got a crazy thought, going for hair extension. Xiaowei said i'm crazy, cos my hair is damn long. Don't know why, i don't feel my hair is long, maybe I don't look at myself often :X LOL ! I told phylis, and she said, she will be the second one calling me crazy. But serious, i'm tempted to, but i told myself, natural hair better, so people will admire MORE :D After that, we went to slack at Mac. Headed home at 9pm. I am so lucky to get a not-packed 190 bus. ^^ I wanna have a great 18th birthday :P heeheee . . . Alright alright, enough of craps . Heres the photos.

Me with pretty xiaowei :D

Doing our nails.

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Ever since you took our friendship as a gamble, its no longer how it used to be. Especially when I've changed. Thanks for being such a good buddy before, but its over. I will do what i promise, to return the amount i've borrowed from you, AsAp.

• 9:01 PM, Thursday, August 07, 2008

I miss you . I miss everything that we've been through. I miss your sweet loving care you gave. All thats given by you, are the only things i can never give it away easily.

A bad day today ? Partly my fault too, felt kinda bad. Sighs . . . .
Approx 1 more week to go for major exam paper and my birthday (:
Planned my birthday celebration already, thanks to JoannaLiewShikEe.
Anyway, please visit this babe's blogshop.
Http://thelaurenhouse.livejournal.com

Life's short. Nothing's perfect. Human are born selfish and demanding. Its hard not to take things for granted. Its hard to cherish something as though you'r reaching your end. The more you get the more you want. But i've learnt that what I want, is as simple as, loving you. To want more of your care and future in us, is hardly possible. The only possible thing for now is, I wanna stay by your side, regardless, how our future might be. I don't ask for more. You'r the only guy, who is going to be the one able to make me smile even if my heart is in pain a second ago. You chase away my stress and unhappiness with just a peck ofyours. Missing you dearly is a pain in heart, but slowly the reasons i miss you will keep me up all day (:

• 11:56 PM, Sunday, August 03, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (:
to me DEAREST SISTER, YEOSUHUI.
and YEO KEXIN ! (:

• 3:58 PM, Tuesday, July 29, 2008

As long as I can, as much as i can, I will always do my best, to love you more than anyone out there. Wheher its gonna be simple or hard, smooth or unreachable, you'll always be my baby. Never did i realise my love for you is that simple. ;DDDDDDDDDDDDD

Alright, a quick update here. I am officially a big fat pig now. I'm lazy, fat, loves to sleep, slack, waste time, eat, drink blablabla. Fuck it man. Was intending to join Margaret for gym today, ended up i changed my mind last minute. Thanks to my lazy-ness. Seriously, i can't stand my own lazy-ness, but there isnt' any improvement in getting rid of this BAD BAD habit . I'm really disappointed with myself. I used to be very enthu & motivated going to the gym and swimming complex very often. Like three times a week? Now margaret and I totally lose it. OMG, my efforts, down and down the drains. . . . . WHY !!! ??? ): Can someone motivate me pleaseeee !!!!

Anyway, I will be busy and busy and and and BUSY.
● I'm rushing a report for tomorrow, which is VERY last minute.
● I've to study my marketing , as i'm having a paper tomorrow at 5pm.
● I've to RUSH my programming project as its due on this thursday. ( HOW GREAT ! )
● I've a presentation to do on Friday.
● I've my Internet Computing paper on 7august, which isn't open book.
( FYI, I got a fugly F for my open book quiz1, and i didn't bring my book. I got a D+ when i remember to bring my book for quiz2. ) So let me guess, my paper is not open book, i'm sure to get a fugly F or maybe F- this time round . That means, if i really do, i'm gonna repeat this module. GodblessMe.
● Only barely two weeks to do last minute revision for my 3 papers on 18,20,25 aug respectively.

So please pardon me , for mia-ing. Takecare peeps.

• 9:17 PM, Thursday, July 24, 2008

What it takes to stay is more cruel than leaving. I don't wanna believe that theres hope between all of us. The disgusted actions from you guys, simply piss me off. I know, I know, everything won't be bak anymore. FUCK.

Alright, sorry for the late rants once again. Didn't work last weekend. Spent my time at home watching TV, online shopping (: Got myself a few bags and clothings. Even though it takes a long time to arrive, but its worth it all. Do visit, http://www.community.livejournal.com/iz_spree . Highly recommended. Alright, as I was saying, i spent my days watching TV too. Not just TV anyway, movies (: I watched Ah Long Pte Ltd. Not bad, however I don't like the ending ? Very lame :X LOL ! ! ! I wanna catch many many shows ! Who wants to be that kind soul to be my movie partner for the month ? Im dying to catch, "THE MUMMY", "THE DARK KNIGHT", "X-FILES" . . .

On monday, had lessons as usual. And i seriously have to rush many many school work, as the date due is reaching. Seriously, like never ending one. Pon night class as well. :X
Tuesday, went to school to study with joanna + Yilong and his friend. Wed, I didn't went for morning lesson again ! I only attend math lect. Head down to tutorial room to study again. But we ended up watching "SAW 4" . Its freakin disgusting !!! However I still managed to watch finish with my friends . Lame ending again.

Once again, today is another tiring day. And seriously, this time im pissed off, and have had enough of EVERYTHING. Stop those nice words telling me how much you guys cherish the friendship, and how sincere. In the end? All those fucking actions just make me sick of EVEYTHING. Can't you guys be more considerate instead of being SELFISH? YES, everyone is selfish, but not to this extend. Forget it, its pointless. . .

All I can do is, ignore, and live my life as it is ! ! ! And last but not least, I miss D ! (: Much loves.

Shall rest now. Goodnights .

• 10:14 PM, Thursday, July 17, 2008

I've never felt this calm after all that have happened. Because all that had happened, are the past. All I know, till now, this moment, I still love you, with all my life . I've to endure in this cold world to stay calm. I just want to love you the simplest way (:

Alright, another week has passed. Sorry to those who have been reading my blog ? Linlin ? :D Hopefully you'r still reading uh ^^ Alright, life is still as simple as that. School, work, home. I'm really upset with myself, for not being able to spend quality time with my dearest friends like how i used to. Phylis ? Yunhan ? JoannaY ? And many many more people. Especially my sister, Yeosuhui. Birthday is coming yeah ^^ Its been a really long long long time since I meet her up or even contact & chit-chat. I'm really really upset. How How ?! ): I just miss everyone la. My flute section, she, he, you, her, him, yes HIM ;P I do miss him the most.

I am advertising for JoannaY. Sorry for delaying this advertising, joanna. Was really busy until I no time to blog. Here it it. She is intending to sell away her Bonia Bag. She only used it twice. Interested parties please leave me a tag or email ( undeniable--love@hotmail.com ) me for more information. ThankYou ! Please pass around ;D Greatly appreciate that.

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On tuesday, went to work, late again. Gosh, I have to change my habit of being late. If not my boss is going to kill me please. But she is still a great ladyboss ;D Finish work at 6pm. Went down to Daiso to shop a lil. I'm in love with their Caramel Corn Snack. MUST-TRY !!! After that, met JoannaL,JingXuan,Xiaowei & Yilong at MANGO when they reached. Wondering why are we meeting? ? ? It is our dearest GERARD CHEAH ZHUO SHENG'S 18TH BIRTHDAY !!! Mai siao siao ok. Once again, HAPPYBIRTHDAY ( : Hope you enjoyed yourself. Firstly, the five of use walked around vivo searching for gerard's present. We finally decided to get a tee-shirt from PULL and BEAR for him. Followed by our own dinner time. Got a birthday cake as well. Head down to meet birthday boy at around 8.30pm. We went to QB Bar. The staff that help Xiaowei & I to get in as the both of us are still underage. Most of them were drunk. I'm the only one who is not okay ;D didn't drink much anyway. After that, we went to Singapore river, slack, chit-chat. " I hope TAY YILONG can please please wakeup and 'zheng zhuo qi lai' . " Took cab back with Xiaowei. It cost a BOMB ok ? ? ? Went straight to bed when I reached home.

fugly photos of the birthday boy ;D

Wednesday, didnt went to school. Too lazy. Having stomach cramps at the same time. Drats* Met up with Margaret at 2pm and we head down to Redhill's IKEA. Didn't manage to find what I want ): However I am gonna go back to get a pillow. Love it man. I'm so crazy over it until I don't wanna leave sia. Funny right ? Over a pillow ? ? ?

Okay, pictures shall do the talking now.

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Loves Jazz & my BadBoy.

• 8:27 PM, Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Even if its gone, I hope you'll see how much i'm willing just to hold on the memories that belongs to only me & you. I give you everything that i am, i'm handing over everything that i've got, cos i wanna have a really true love, don't ever wanna have to give you up. ( Its not fair, how you are, I can't be complete. )
Misses.

Everythings finally better right now. However, getting more & more busy as days passed. Work, study, .. . . . Just recieved my exam timetable. Sad to say, i have to take paper on my birthday, BUT, its the last paper ^^ But i wonder who cares & remember about it. Probably no one ? Have not been able to catch up with some of my friends lately. My sincere apology. Anyway, I got 3 out of 4 results for my commontest, & YES, I did SUPER BADLY. *A round of applause please* I got a "D" for maths. "BF" ( Badly fail ) for Electronic Analysis. And "F" for Electronic Communication. I doubt I will pass my Marketing too. Haa. I've Marketing project to rush. Damn it, its due this coming monday. Damn NYP. However, I've sort of know what I wanna do my project on. Alright, lets talk about what have I done today. Basically, I have lessons today. But my damn wisdom tooth decides that now is that right time to start growing the other half. I've started to get some sore throat, and being heaty as well since my wisdom tooth wants to be "smart". I've already made an appointment at Woodlands polyclinic for my checkup this coming Monday. How dreadful is that ? Have to tahan the pain, the pain can caused my whole jaw to numb, loss of appetite. RAHHS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okok, back to what I was talking about. Pon lessons for today, since i'm gonna attend lessons for only 2hours -.- Must well stay at home. Went online, do the usual stuffs, music music music, bloghop,bloghop, & MSN ! And my dearest JoannaYee asked whether want to meet up. Didn't know where to meet. And i suggested watching movie, so we both agreed & watched "HANCOCK" at Causeway. Though we missed 3mins of the movie,& the running time is short, we LOVE it (: Right ? Joanna ;D Afterwhich, we head back to lot1, I bought dry food for my dog, & slack a bit, & we went seperate ways. Thanks joannayee for the day.

Nice ? :D I fall in love with it man. ^^

Jingxuan, you've always been the mature, caring & sweet friend of mine, & yilong too. Like what he said, dajie. You'r like our big sister, looking after us when we're encountering problems. You never failed to be by my side when I needed you. For that, I owe you just so so much. I feel really helpless when I see you so upset, yet I know I can't be of any help. I don't even know what to say to you & i only can keep quiet & pray that you'r gonna be fine real soon. I know you'll read my blog, so this is all dedicated to you alright. I will always try my best to be there for you, for that you've always been the greatest help to me.

• 9:14 PM, Thursday, July 03, 2008

Things started to change, none of you bothered to even notice the change. Or should I say, none of you are bothered about the changes. Even if you guys have realised the drifting apart, you guys still can treat it as nothing happened. Which makes me fee worst. Thinking that all those great moments, caring words are just lies, just for the time being. Used to be the craziest bunch of people. Now ? I don't even know what we are left within us. Am I thinking too much? No? Even if its normal to all of you. Theres changes that none of you bothered to take it to heart. Forget it, nothing is gonna work. Nothing's gonna be back like how it used to. Wishful thinking/dreaming of how close we still will be even if we go seperate class next year.

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I'm missing you so much, D ! =(

• 10:27 PM, Friday, June 27, 2008

And I just can't pull myself away. Just why can't I ? Tell me, are memories the only thing that's left between us. I'm starting to miss every sweet tender loving care of yours i used to feel.

Let me count, just how many days have I stopped blogging. 11days . Long huh ? Frankly speaking, many things happened. Ain't living well for these past few weeks. Everything's getting better now with the lovely friends of mine (: Work throughout that two weeks had finally ended. However another matter thats haunting me are my commontest papers. Today's the last day for my papers. I doubt I will even get a D for any paper. But definitely a FB = Fail Badly. Had been neglecting many many things. Especially my friends. One of them is Phylis. Very sorry. I will tend to spend lesser and lesser time. Come home from work, tired, will only online for a while. But now that exams ended, i will have time now ;D

Tired out. shall update tomorrow ;)

• 3:56 PM, Monday, June 16, 2008

Its best, when everything's unseen, undone, unknown, like how everything used to be.
I've always placed you in priority in my life, however I am just an option of yours in your life. You & I, forever the difference that nothing similiar can going to bring us together anymore. If only you knew just how much, i've walk through this journey, all because of you. And that, you can cherish me for all that you know. This love is taking all of my energy.

Busy working recently. I feel so aimless, even when everything seems to be how it should be at this moment. On "Friday the Thirteenth", it was his birthday. Met him up after work, celebrate his birthday, for the first time. If placing you in priority of my life, & im just an option of yours. I guess its time i should learn to walk away when you approach me. Run away when you tried to get close to me. Push you away when you hug me tight. Even those hugs seems so warm, & lovely, everything is just fake. Because I know, you don't love me the same way as I do. Teach me how to push you away, run away & walk away, when I know its hardly possible, for all these years, & still counting. Forget about that.

Anyway, something sad happened yesterday. One of my dog passed away. . . I hope its a peaceful one for him though, with no regrets. Few weeks back, my mum was being paranoid all about my dog coming in my house walking one round. Saying that she read from newspaper that, if an animal walks around the house means its leaving. I didnt' believe much. Until yesterday. I hope my mum can get over it soon. And Buibui ( another dog of mine ) won't be so emo.

1 year ago, Left - Buibui , Right - ET

Always remembered .
They look alike though, . . .

• 10:11 PM, Thursday, June 12, 2008

Holding on has never been easy. Letting go can be as difficult. Strength is measured not by holding on but by letting go.

I am seriously frustrated with myself. For wasting 3days. Not studying. Seriously, i don't know whats wrong. I can't concentrate. Sighs . Forget it, fail then fail la . ): Got work tomorrow until monday then can rest ): Hope to see my eyecandy ;D Last but not least, Happy birthday, to him, since its gonna be past midnight very soon.

Goodnight everybody.

• 7:57 PM, Wednesday, June 11, 2008

EVERYTHING SEEMS SO F* UP RIGHT NOW !!! MY PHONE DECIDED TO GIVE ME NUMEROUS PROBLEMS AT THIS VERY MOMENT !!! AND IM SO FRUSTRATED OVER MY STUDIES !!! IRRITATED OVER MYSELF WITH SUCH "PROGRESSIVE" ATTITUDE TOWARDS STUDYING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND OVER ALL THE SHITS I'VE BEEN GETTING FROM "YOU" ALL THESE YEARS & MONTHS. WHICH CAN'T SEEM TO GET OFF MY MIND !!!! F* IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• 11:38 AM, Tuesday, June 10, 2008

For you, I'm willing to do anything & everything. For you, I'm not afraid of experiencing the same old pain, when I know how much its gonna hurt. For you, everything I've done, really made me feel that I could just sleep forever if this carries on. But now, for you, I can, let go EVERYTHING too.

Have been working, didn't have the energy to blog after reaching home. Work at PS on Saturday&Sunday. I start to love working fair instead of shop. I realised how fast time past, & at least, working at fair, you have different people to talk to when you'r really really bored. ( The cute guy I met ) ;D Was so happy when he initiate the first move to talk to me. I regret so so so much for being so dao :X HAHAHA ! ! ! Sadly, he didn't work on Sunday, & I was told to work at United Square for yesterday. So didn't know whether he worked. ): How how how ??? Margaret say, got fate will work together again ^^ God, please grant me this "fate" ! LOL ! Enough of my craziness. Was so unhappy yesterday. Work was super bored. & TAN YIJIA put aeroplane. Make me walk around PS for 30minutes like a idiot ! ! ! Sighs, forget it. . . Shall get my ass back to studying now ! ! !

• 10:11 PM, Friday, June 06, 2008

Right where you are, is where I want to be forever. All because of you, I no longer live my life just for myself. Without you, will everything be better? Even if it does, the least I ask for now is for you to cherish everything that i've done.

Attended school as normal on Wednesday. Skipped 1pm class again. Met up with Hengyunhan after my lessons ended, for our shopping spree (: Its GSS ! I can't miss that out. We went to Bugis & MarinaSquare next. And yes, Hengyunhan is the #1 shopping queen of the day. Guess what? She bought herself 3 pairs of shoes, to be exact, its 4 pairs together with a mango basic tee. I bought a pair of m)phosis shoes, mango tee + a shorts for myself. While shopping at bugis street, i guessed i bump into "her". Though she's a total stranger to me, but the actions she've done, totally turns me off. However I felt really dumb, to hate a stranger because of him. For all you know, i'm TIRED. Whether its emotionally, physically or mentally. I just hope, just once, for him to see how much i've always love him. But I think that isn't gonna happen. And its not important anymore. I still have to face the fact life's cruel to me. Ok enough of all the emo-ings. And yes ! Please do not dine at Gelare for their Oreo Cheesecake. It isn't that horrible, just that it tastes, not-so-good. You get sick of it after a few mouths of it.

Thursday, didn't do much, lessons 8-5pm. I seriously hate my maths tutorial teacher ! ! ! ): Went home straight after lessons, watched a few episodes of "命中注定我爱你" . It is really nice, strongly recommend you to watch it too (:

Today, i'm seriously TIRED !!! I didn't get enough sleep, serves me right !!! Lessons start at 8am as well. Have to drag myself out of bed at 6am. And i was so frustrated over all those inconsiderate passengers taking the MRT. Forget about it !!! Theres internet computing test today, & know what? It is OPENBOOK, yet I forgot to bring my lecture notes. I'm so gonna flunk my sem1's modules. Head back home straight, saw Daphanie on the way back. Hope she stays happy & cheerful too. ANDAND ! ! ! PHYLIS IS FINALLY BACK FROM HER CAMP ! MISS YOU GIRL ! Smile !!!

Lovesloves.

• 6:28 PM, Thursday, June 05, 2008

- Keri Hilson Lyrics

• 11:52 PM, Monday, June 02, 2008

If it is that easy to hold you, to stay with me forever & ever.

Have not been blogging for many days. Don't find a point to blog when life is so fucked up. Many many bad things happen. Shall not elaborate. Work on saturday & sunday. Sunday was a bad bad day for me. Lousy sales, time pass slow & & something FREAKING disgusting happened. I was thirsty so I intended to boil some water to drink. When I was pouring the leftover water the day before, I saw a CENTIPEDE trying to crawl out. OMFG ! I just froze up at that very moment. And ran back to my shop & told my friends working beside. %$#@@!#*^

I don't even dare drink any of the boiled water even after the centipede is being removed. Monday was a tiring day for me as well. I slept only at 3am. Wokeup at 6am. And had lessons until 9.30pm. However I did have a 2hours sleep during my boring lecture. Thanks a lot to all those who cared for me. I'm feeling better now. Term break is just 3days away. However i still have to work. Sighs, regretted that i agreed to work for 10days during my term break. But I still need $$$. Shopping spree tomorrow with Hengyunhan (: Finally, GSS here I come ;D